1 Semester later...

OK, so I never promised that I'd be efficient at this blogging thing... did I? (I never promised you a rose garden...)

But, still, 1 semester in and I feel like I should have documented my successes (of which there were a few), my failures (of which there were many), and most importantly what I've learned...

I just finished up a class and had a really amazing and in depth, honest & REAL conversation with my students. Yesterday we had a guest speaker for the school from SFTS. I thought it would be good to chat with my students about what they got out of the talk. Most of them agreed that it was depressing, and yes, it was sad... very sad to hear a man relate the story of his 11 year old son commiting suicide because of bullying. BUT... the real stuff came in our talk... where we talked about intention and perception, about recognizing Christ in everyone, about holding ourselves to a higher standard and not settling for the common. It was good and I'm really proud of those kids. Really proud.

So, I think it best to maybe make some kind of list of some of my successes and failures... so without further ado...

Successes:
learning their names... this one was hard for me. 92 students (well 90 now, b/c 2 left our school at the semester) is a lot of names and I've never been very good about it. I quickly learned that the alphabetical seating chart was not the way to go (what do you do when that leads to having Maggie, Miranda, and Madison all sitting in a row? you get confused, that's what!)... so I spread them out, made adjustments as needed, kept my seating chart on my podium to refer back to, and wasn't ashamed (errrr... wasn't too ashamed) when I occasionally messed it up.

covered the high points... what I mean by this is that I am NOT a professionally trained teacher... I don't have my M.A., I don't have a degree in education, I have my department head's syllabus, a textbook, and occasional flash of brilliance (oh yeah... and that whole GRACE OF GOD thing ; )). But, I did manage to get through the semester having covered all of the highlights of our syllabus and with students who seem to have made it through the final pretty well.

failures:
discipline... I can already see that I am not winning this battle... I really thought that I had started off on the right foot (well, actually I know I started off on the right foot, b/c about a month into class one of my more candid girls told me "yeah, the first few days of class we thought you were just a b*tch!"), but my desire to be liked and have repore overcame my desire to be respected and listened to, and I am paying the price. I'm occasionally having to rely on 'rocket reminders' (a form of discipline within the athletic department in which a teacher emails a coach of a student to tell them about a discipline issue and basically the coach makes the student run until their legs fall off) and I realize now that I'm actually passing the respect over to the coach instead of demanding it myself. I've been brainstorming ways to gain this control back, and my best ideas are sending students to the hall in order to regain their composure or having them serve detention (I haven't used this yet, but I am making plans for it).

scheduling... I really don't know how other teachers who are parents of young kids manage to do everything. I squeal into the parking lot at 7:35 and squeal out at 3:05. I have NO extra time here on campus. This of course will be a problem when it comes to handing out detentions (I guess I'll be having lunch detention), but even more so, it makes me feel out of the loop, b/c I know that last minute reminders come over the intercom or through email and I am just not present for those. I'm trying to keep a 'this too shall pass' point of view and remind myself that eventually my girls will be better about getting ready in the morning, and I will have more time. For now, this truly is a struggle.

planning... this is kind of a success/failure... a succlure... a failess? I am staying ahead in planning, but sometimes just by 1 day. This doesn't do much for having a vision for how a whole unit is going to go together, so I feel like my teaching is choppy. I also need to be better about assessment, in particular, making sure to assess more frequently. Again, I know this will come with time, but I feel like the better handle I have on this now, the easier my job will be in the future.

Phew! This has been kind of a mental diarreah... an outpouring of memories without ANY specifics about lessons, but hopefully in the near future I can take the time to go into a few lessons & units that I found to work well.

Until then, by all means, please pass along some prayers and advice!

You down with TOB? (Yeah you know me!)

Sigh.

How GREAT is our God?

Take just a second to marvel in it for a minute, won'tcha?



OK... got it? Good.


I spent the last week in a little town outside of Philadelphia being immersed, mind and heart, in JPII's Theology of the Body. Let me start with saying that JPII... genius. Pure and utter genius. And also? So incredibally obviously led by the Spirit in his work (and writings). He GETS (got?) human sexuality. Seriously. I know that sounds crazy to say about a Catholic priest, no less, a pope, but it's true.

So, diving in, attending this course has been one of the most life-changing experiences I've ever been a part of. It is fully academic and fully spiritual (get it? kind of like how Jesus is fully human and fully divine!). I can say with certainty that I've never had such a rich and prayer filled week in my life (and I've been on a LOT of retreats, etc). Not only that, but mentally, while I'm still digesting this and wrapping my mind around it, it was challenging. I have to be honest and admit that I went in w/quite a bit of arrogance. "I already HAVE my theology degree, I already AGREE with the Church's teaching on contraceptives, what more do I NEED?" I kind of thought that I'd get there and show up as some sort of Catholic superstar. Boy was I wrong. There was so much that I didn't know, so much I still have left to learn, and so many ways that I realize I was really just going through the motions instead of truly living in God's love.

Which brings me to my next point (or is it my original point?)...
EVERYTHING begins, exists in, and ends in God's love for us. Everything. We don't get anywhere without it, we wouldn't have been created without it, and all that is GOOD in this world exists because of it. I had the opportunity to take some down time for a few afternoons and used it to the best of my advantage to work on some lesson planning for this new adventure that God has brought to my life. I cannot WAIT to start teaching, and this whole "God loves us" thing is going to be my starting off point. Fortunately, I know that my students will have had a little bit of time learning about Theology of the Body, but with the subject of Morality, I realize that it is SO important that we revisit some of the central themes in order to have the right starting point... God loves us. The starting point for morality has got to be God's love (God IS Love). Where we go from there is an understanding that morality is about our decision to live and respond well to God's love.

Many, many, many thanks to my instructor Bill Donaghy, his amazing and selfless family, everyone at the Theology of the Body Institute, my classmates, my family for the gift of this time away (which was difficult, but fruitful), and my office who gave me this opportunity (in exhange for the promise to help with some Marriage Enrichment in the future... gladly!). But, most importantly, many thanks to Our God for this amazing journey you've set before me.

Amen.

Resources

Knowing my personality, organizational habits, and ability to transition well, I thought it best to start looking for resources for this journey early(ish) on. I am going to be working at my current job pretty much right up until it is time for me to start at the school (or at least until it is time for me to start training at the school), so much of my 'free' (ha!) time will be devoted to preparing myself for this transition. I am nervous afterall and the more I prepare myself, the less nervous I'll be when that time comes. I'm keeping a list of online resources that I think will be useful at some point. Some of them are blogs, some are articles. Some are particular to Catholic education, others focus on education in general. All seem (at least at this time) useful.

I'm also anticipating some of the practical aspects of teaching. There is a chance that I may be sharing a room or even using different rooms for my classes... that isn't yet determined, but if that does turn out to be the case, I'm planning a summer building project... a lecture podium on wheels, one w/a pull out laptop stand, a locking cabinet, and special storage compartments. I'm not the most organized person on the planet but I do have an affinity for office supplies and prefer fun and pretty ones when possible, and if I get to store them in nifty containers which are then put in special compartments in my podium... BONUS! I know... I'm a nerd. 6 months from now, worrying about a podium and office supplies is probably going to seem like a waste of mental energy... but just to show my reasoning, one of the posts I read on the Coach G blog mentioned having all of 'your' tools easily accessible, and another article on the NEA website talked about doing extra things to prepare ahead of time so that you aren't just ready to teach, but you have the things that make the entire day go easier (specifically they mentioned snacks, a sewing kit, gloves, comfortable backup shoes, etc.). So... I'm just trying to go 'by the book'... errr... web.

So, maybe you'll find these useful too. Or maybe you want to leave me a comment to tell me exactly how foolish and naive you think I am. Either is fine. Oh, they are under the list titled "Teacher's Helpers"

acceptance

The process that has led me to this day has probably been building for about 23 years. When I was 8 years old I specifically remember sitting with my sister, trying to help her read a book, do some homework, something... and my mother observing the process. Later she took me aside and said "You should be a teacher some day. You were very patient with your sister and teachers need patience." As it turns out, plenty of people in the world need patience, but that comment stuck with me, and other things did too. I remember being in 6th grade and Mrs. G periodically allowing girls (why were only girls ever interested in this?) to come clean her desk, organize her drawers, grade a few papers, clean the blackboard. In 7th grade, Mrs. H would occasionally let some of us (girls) design a new bulletin board. Bliss. It was pure bliss. The EZ Grader, the red pens, the smell of chalk dust, the unlimited access to a stapeler and rolls of colored paper. Sigh. Most of that (probably w/the acception of the red pens) will be irrelevant for my upcoming new teaching career. Oh, I didn't mention that? As of today, I've accepted an offer for a teaching position, starting this fall. I'll be teaching high school religion, specifically the Junior Morality class. I'll have other outside of classroom duties, tbd. I've pursued and am achieving my dream. Leaving my current position will be dificult, especially as I've grown close to my coworkers. We have an intimate little group of the three of us. We've developed our own inside jokes and have countless funny stories. But, I was never meant to stay at this job long-term. It doesn't suit my personality, and while it does feed some passions, it leaves others desiring so much more. I'm grateful for my time here, but I'm comfortable and confident in my decision to move on. I'm hopeful for my future as a Rocket.